8 a.m., at a St. Lawrence River crossing into the U.S. from Canada. I pull up at the booth and recognize the border guard: young guy, with a mullet and a straggly beard.
Him: Where you live?
Me: Providence.
Him: Why were you in Canada?
Me: To visit my father, in Ottawa. I was there three days.
(He surveys my passport)
Him: How come you’re an American?
Me: Had a green card…
Him: Hmmm… What do you do?
Me: For a living?
Him: Yeah.
Me: I’m a writer. I write books.
Him: What kind of books?
Me: History books. My last one was about medieval history.
(Pause)
Him: I’ve had you before…
Me: Yes.
Him: Why don’t you write about Northern aggression?
(Pause)
Me: You mean… like in the Civil War?
Him: You can’t have a civil war between two separate countries. The South was independent.
Me: Oh.
Him: Yeah, it was the War of Northern Aggression. Why don’t you write about that?
Me: I… I’ve never thought about it that way.
(Pause)
Him: You can go. Welcome home.
And the agent of the United States government waved me through.
Hmmm... it seems to me there was another big issue involved in the Civil War. I can't for the life of me remember what it was. Oh well, must not have been that important.
ReplyDeleteSo anyway, why don't you right about that, Steve?