Masterpiece Theater

President Obama today: “If I had a son, he’d look like Trayvon.”

Say what you want about the guy, but when it comes to delivering a clear, lapidary message, he is peerless. This was a masterpiece of succinct political discourse.

The dogs bark, but the caravan passes.

Serenely.

Border Incident

8 a.m., at a St. Lawrence River crossing into the U.S. from Canada. I pull up at the booth and recognize the border guard: young guy, with a mullet and a straggly beard.
Him: Where you live?
Me: Providence.
Him: Why were you in Canada?
Me: To visit my father, in Ottawa. I was there three days.
(He surveys my passport)
Him: How come you’re an American?
Me: Had a green card…
Him: Hmmm… What do you do?
Me: For a living?
Him: Yeah.
Me: I’m a writer. I write books.
Him: What kind of books?
Me: History books. My last one was about medieval history.
(Pause)
Him: I’ve had you before…
Me: Yes.
Him: Why don’t you write about Northern aggression?
(Pause)
Me: You mean… like in the Civil War?
Him: You can’t have a civil war between two separate countries. The South was independent.
Me: Oh.
Him: Yeah, it was the War of Northern Aggression. Why don’t you write about that?
Me: I… I’ve never thought about it that way.
(Pause)
Him: You can go. Welcome home.
And the agent of the United States government waved me through.